Small towns have little opportunity. Yet I feel myself drawn back to a life of fewer complications. Here, I find myself less inclined to fear the unknown. As I step into the comfort of the past, my future seems free of doubt. But change has found the town, and I cannot recede into the girl I once was.
The slower pace reassures me life is still sacred. It's easier to step back and watch God's hand in the day to day. And I need that. I need to remember the faster pace of the city doesn't reflect the larger picture; the demands of money doesn't control the cycle of the natural world. I don't belong in the city, but for now, I don't belong at home either.
My darling daughter,
ReplyDeleteAs much as it pains me, I agree with your sentiments. I long to keep you from all that threatens to engulf you; to take on all your suffering and hurts on myself so you won't have to suffer...And yet to do that would cause you a greater harm and injustice by not allowing you to grow into the beautiful woman that is emerging from the trials you face day-to-day. I might try to shield you, but that is just a mother's instinct. I am now more inclined to listen to you and see how you grow into the person God created you to be. (ALOT of praying doesn't hurt, either!!)
I love you and more than that, I respect you and the fact that you have to choose the road you feel God is leading you to walk. It's not my road, it's yours. All I can do is be here for you whenever you need someone to listen to; someone to help ground you from time-to-time.
I am very proud of who you have become.
Love,
Mom